I have asked this question a couple of times and the answers I get are ‘forget’ ‘move on’ ‘time will heal’
None of them work: I need a jolt of genius from one of you that changes what is in my head. Practical, physical things don’t work.
I am hoping some very clever person out there can offer me a pearl of wisdom that can change my thoughts, not my habits.
My thinking has to change. I have become fixated and addicted to the person who doesn’t love me any more.
Don’t tell me to get a hobby, take exercise, move on, read a book, let go.
I can’t. I have read books and everything else. And if you are going to write ‘Time Heals’ then don’t because it doesn’t and it hasn’t.
I am not interested in someone answering the nugget of wisdom that it is obsessive because I already know that it is and that won’t be helpful.
I need genius ideas to change my thinking and to stop me loving this person and thinking about them.
Don’t reply if you have nothing new to say.
Thanks is advance.
Originally posted 2009-04-19 15:19:05.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
time will heal it’s true but in the meantime you can check this website for help:
Jack Daniels works best
Time really does heal all wounds.
You seem like you don’t want to hear it, but it’s really the only thing you can do. Just go out and do your own and and give it time. If you’re saying time doesn’t help, you haven’t waited long enough. It’s okay to feel what you feel, but you need to keep your distance and don’t open any scabs.
These things don’t happen over night.
Relationship therapists say that it takes at least half the duration of the relationship to get over that person. So if you’ve been with them for 4 years, you’re in for a rocky 2. I’ve found this to be quite accurate in my psychological studies.
put it this way, you cannot mend a broken, but you can keep that love in the back of your heart, and your mind. Focus yourself on the universe its beauty, and God-his amazing works He does for your life everyday. I was in the same boat, but i moved on. To tell you, youre hurting yourself emotionally, soon physically if you keep it up.
I believe that everything in this life happens for a reason and that you wouldn’t be going through this if there wasn’t something waiting for you when you get out of this. I don’t think there is anything you can actually do to fix this, you just have to learn to love the small things in life and maybe read some poetry – it may inspire some of these genius thoughts you are looking for. Appreciate what you have and don’t try to move on too fast. Let what happens happen and enjoy being with your friends and family until this passes. And trust me it will (no matter how stupid it sounds.) I never thought I would get over my ex and it did take a while, but you just have to stick in there. Good luck.
No, there isn’t.
Ok no i’m not gonna say time heals becuz we are to impatient for that.I’m not gonna say move on,get a life becuz it doesn’t work.But I am gonna say this;
To mend a broken heart would be a crime,
It needs to heal over time.
To mend a broken heart,
Only you know where to start.
Keep yourself busy make plans,
To mend a broken heart would need broken hands.
If you wanna mend ur heart(believe me i know how it feels)
this is what i would do; spend more time with friends and family,if you have letters or pictures from that person throw them out,don’t read to get away and take a walk and enjoy the life around you.And yes it takes a long time to mend a broken heart but only it knows how in time to mend itself.
If this help you get help cuz it worked for me.Oh, and don’t stay on the computer all the time.It’ll hurt.
My wife just broke my heart a week or two ago, and even after working things through, I have this feeling (and she knows it) that I will always think of what happened. Our marriage is strong, and we will make it through this okay, but I do honestly feel that I will truely think about this every single day.
But then I think about other things in my life where I got hurt and even though I think back to those times and wonder ‘what if’ or ‘why’ or whatever, I’m glad I moved on because eventually the mind gets consumed with something new.
It may not be a love interest to replace an ex, but it may be something completely different. Like a hobby, sport, job, invention, a skill that you wish to perfect… etc Something someday will come along. It just won’t be immedately to stop the pain. I hear you, and I wish I could find a way to bury my feelings right now, but I know over time that something else will consume me – and my current issue will be just a memory.
Take it for what its worth.
Sounds a little more like childlike selfishness than unrequited love. We all have crosses to bear maybe this is yours. If you truly love this person then you should also want to see them live their life in whatever fashion brings them happiness and if that doesn’t include you then you can only hold onto that love quietly and hidden away in your heart and memories. I don’t know if you were once an item or if there was once something between you but if there was why would you want to tarnish whatever you may have had (for both yourself and them) by behaving this way. There is no magic answer sometimes life sucks. I apologize for taking up your time if you feel this is response trite. I hope you find your peace.
I know how you feel, the heart simply just dies a slow death, it sheds each hope like leaves until one day there are none. There really is nothing that is going to help you, but you.
God, if these words didn’t just come out of my mouth to mother about my own life. No time doesn’t heal and I don’t give a crap about hobbies or making new friends.
There are some things you can do but in the end it just sucks. One piece of advice I heard and tried sometime ago was sooaking cotton in something that has an odor you find disgusting, everytime you think of the person and it will eventually train your brain to be deterred from thinking of the person. did it work? a little. Do I still love him no. was i younger and more naive then? yes. Of course what i’ve been doing lately is just wallowing in it. Allowing myself to cry and obsess as much as possible. i just sit down and say I’m not going to do or think of anything- no tv no music no phone nothing. and for the next 8 hours I will not do one thing but obsess, guess what it gets restrictive. And I go do something else. It just gives you an idea of what a waste of time it is.
Get rid of the pictures and memntos for now. Put them somewhere safe you may want them someday. Anytime you hear a song that says wht you are feeling or a song that reminds you of them- turn the station change the cd whatever.
Here’s the deal- at the end of the day they are all coping techniques and self-esteem etc. issues. First you need to find why you are so fixated-past disappointments,etc… I tried counseling and it eventually ehlped me realize why i felt the way I did. Everyone is different so my reasons for not being able to move on might be different from you. i wish I could say it will get better. i hope it does but I can’t say that time heals all wounds sometimes it doesn’t. some wounds are deep and all you can do is just try to glad for what you have and let yourslef feel whatever you are feeling. If it gets to much at least go for a few sessions with a professional. i’ve been helped a little by medication. It at least stopped me from crying so hard that i couldn’t even work. Pathetic I know.
Oh, well. I’m sure that none of this helped but i just wanted you not to feel alone in what you are going through. whether a person is 12 or 112 pain is pain and it very disheartening when people demise it by saying get a hobby or move on. I think sometimes I’m lucky to feel the pain at least i feel something, unlike other people I’ve known.
uh don’t reply if you have nothing new to say? Well sir solution is solution, old or new, it makes no difference; it depends on you that how much courage you have to make a new story with it?
Anyways…I know it hurts. Love is tragic. And the end is always a broken heart. So if you are expecting a cure, then you should know that the cure is nothing but LOVE itself! Time won’t heal of course. Its a cliche that time heals …time sometime makes the wound more deep. But before it happens, you need to carry on with love…again….that’s what you need to do.Otherwise neither you’ll be able to go back, or step forward. Don’t forget the person. Its fine. That would help you to save your heart from breaking again.
I think it wont help..hehe:D but oh well I wanted to try atleast:(
Peace…
the best way is find new love and that would heal ur broken heart
u know u seem like the kind of guy that believes there is one special somebody for everyone so…….. if u can’t get over ….. as a math genius(u didn’t specify what kind u wanted)stop trying and do ur best 2 get her back, stop asking how to get over her and try 2 find a way 2 earn back her heart..(and for another batch of saying, hope never dies, keep on trying, and so on and so forth) and i’ve learned the hard way that these do work